Monday, June 7, 2010

A Commentary on Flirting

Flirting is the most awkward and absurd thing to observe.

Last Friday night, my apartment complex had an outdoor movie night.
There was Pizza, soda, The Sandlot on a big screen and hordes of hormonal young adults.
I wanted to sit in my apartment by myself and watch ghost hunters, but I figured I should at least attempt being social, so I wandered my way down to the courtyard. I made a pretty fair attempt at small talk--because that's what one is supposed to do at stuff like that-- but eventually resigned myself to contently observing those around me.
I did sit with some darling girls from my ward and we chatted and laughed and what not, but I got the most enjoyment from watching the people around me flirt with each other.
It was like I was watching something that wasn't meant to be watched, a private sort of interaction that wasn't private at all.

Sitting near my friends and I on the lawn was a group of guys. For the beginning they kept to themselves, just laying and watching the movie. I didn't notice when a few girls sat near them. There was a pretty classically cute girl and her two less cute friends.
I watched as they joked and laughed, the guys pretty clearly more interested in the cute friend. I cringed as Brunette Less Cute Friend continuously interjected in conversations, vying for attention, while Blonde Less Cute Friend remained fairly quiet, occasionally saying something witty.
I wanted desperately to pull BLCF aside and explain to her how uncomfortable it was just watching her try so hard.

As I watched, I couldn't help but think two things.
The first was that I have been BLCF. This was quite the mortifying realization. Had someone watched me be slightly obnoxious and awkward in an attempt to win some boy's affection?

The second thought was about what Calvin or Jake of Confessions from a Mormon Bachelor Pad would have to say if they had witnessed or been a part of the situation I was observing.

I've witnessed other situations like this. What bothers me most is how the flirting occurs. It's like watching the little girl on the playground hit the little boy because she thinks he's cute.
The flirting consists of teasing and degrading, followed by giggling.
And its not even witty.
Whatever happened to complimenting and being nice?
People honestly get uncomfortable when they are told that they have a nice smile or pretty eyes.

I vowed that from that day forward I would never again take part in the silliness that I had witnessed for the following reasons:
1. I'm most funny when I'm not trying to entertain anyone other than myself.
2. If a man is not interested in me, obnoxiously vying for his attention will not make him so.
3. I'm a catch. Men should be vying for my attention.
4. The only person I want blogging about how awkward I am is me.

So, for now, I am content just sitting back and watching the interactions of those who also exist in this crazy, silly Mormon bubble.

Carry on with your Mormon mating rituals and thank you for all the entertainment.

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