I would just like to start by saying that I was a relationship genius(!) between the ages of 13 and 15. I was like the Dr. Phil of love. I gave the best advice and always had the right answers.
Well, then I started dating.
And everything I knew about relationships and love went out the window.
Now, I'm a complete and utter fool.
There is something in particular that has had be thoroughly confused for a little while now, Maybe you can help me out.
Almost every woman I have known that knows anything about Pride and Prejudice has had a crush on Mr. Darcy. Yet, darling Mr. Bingley gets little to no attention.
But why??
VS
Darcy is completely contrary to what we always say we want.
What do we [say] we want?
A man who is open and honest. One who knows what he wants (ideally us) and tells us exactly that. A man who tells us we're beautiful and loved.
What happens when we meet such a Mr. Bingley?
We freak out. We say that he's creepy or too eager. We get annoyed with him.
What do we [say] we don't want?
A man who is enigmatic. Who doesn't know whether or not he wants us and if he does know, he just doesn't tell us. A man who is critical of us.
What happens when we meet one of these Mr. Darcys?
We're intrigued. We want to know more, we pine after him and try (usually to no avail) to get him to fall in love with us.
Honestly, Ladies, what kind of a sick twisted game is this?
Why do we do this to ourselves? And why do we do this to the lovely Mr. Bingleys of the world?
If you know the answer please share. I am at a
total loss with this one.
If you don't know the answer, might I suggest we change our ways?
Well, then I started dating.
And everything I knew about relationships and love went out the window.
Now, I'm a complete and utter fool.
There is something in particular that has had be thoroughly confused for a little while now, Maybe you can help me out.
Almost every woman I have known that knows anything about Pride and Prejudice has had a crush on Mr. Darcy. Yet, darling Mr. Bingley gets little to no attention.
But why??
VS
Darcy is completely contrary to what we always say we want.
What do we [say] we want?
A man who is open and honest. One who knows what he wants (ideally us) and tells us exactly that. A man who tells us we're beautiful and loved.
What happens when we meet such a Mr. Bingley?
We freak out. We say that he's creepy or too eager. We get annoyed with him.
What do we [say] we don't want?
A man who is enigmatic. Who doesn't know whether or not he wants us and if he does know, he just doesn't tell us. A man who is critical of us.
What happens when we meet one of these Mr. Darcys?
We're intrigued. We want to know more, we pine after him and try (usually to no avail) to get him to fall in love with us.
Honestly, Ladies, what kind of a sick twisted game is this?
Why do we do this to ourselves? And why do we do this to the lovely Mr. Bingleys of the world?
If you know the answer please share. I am at a
total loss with this one.
If you don't know the answer, might I suggest we change our ways?
haha! you are so right! why are we so attracted the mysterious men, when long-term that's not what we want?!
ReplyDeleteFirst, I must say that you are a genius. Second, I think you STILL give the world's best relationship advice.
ReplyDeleteThird, although you make a captivating and brutally honest point, I believe I may have a little bit of insight in to an answer here. Although as women we do tend to have our "lists" of what we need/want in a man (and I do believe it is important we have these), they do not always tell the whole truth. Although I feel it valuable to find a man who fits most if not all of the items on our list, it is not a tell-all. We may find a man who has every characteristic we've ever dreamed of, but that doesn't mean we'll fall in love with that person. There is something so much more important. Some kind of chemisty or passion rooted far deeper than logic that draws us to a person. And unfortunately not always a person that fits in to our list. I believe this is why everyone is attracted to Darcy. For it is undeniable the chemisty and passion shared between one such Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet.
Love you!!
Mary